Painkiller

by Laura Marie

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Painful truths.This year I had to let go of a friend who is struggling with drug addiction. Breaks my heart but you can't help someone who refuses to acknowledge that drugs are the destructive force in their life. It's been sad to see him go from one of the most loving people I've known since childhood to someone I don't recognize at all. But, helping is hurting when it enables someone to continue destroying themselves. Couldn't do it anymore.

lyrics

Painkiller

Maybe it’s just the way you’re wired
Some assistance is required
And I’m not quite the fix you’re needing

A little something for the pain
A little more and more each day
And even then the high is fleeting

With happiness in short supply, down you go
There’s only so much you can buy and I know
I’m not your painkiller
But you can’t say I didn’t try

You’re all strung out and that’s the stuff
You know you’ll never get enough
There’s no stopping once you’ve tried it

And you don’t mind the damage done
Falling from that high you’re on
And I can’t love you when you’re like this

You won’t look me in the eye, down you go
And I can’t help you live your lie so, I know
I’m not your painkiller
But you can’t say I didn’t try

You’ll get by, you’ll be fine
Just a bit, one last time
It’s so hard but you’re trying

And I’m alright, I can stay
I’ll be here, come what may
Now we both know we’re lying

You say you’ll stop, you always do
You couldn’t if you wanted to
There’s nothing else that’s quite as satisfying

You know I hate to say goodbye, down you go
But I refuse to watch you die, I know
I’m not your painkiller
But you can’t say I didn’t try
I tried, I tried

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released April 30, 2019

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Laura Marie San Antonio, Texas

Now the reason we're here
Every man, every woman
Is to help each other
Stand by each other
When love walks in the room
Everybody stand up
Oh it's good, good good
Say I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you - The Pretenders

At some point in my life, I heard this song and decided (before I knew I decided) that my life purpose was to send a "message of love". Be <3
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